Just do it
The Village isn't lost, it just requires a calendar invite.
There’s so much chatter online lately about “building community” and “bringing back the village.” Mutual aid is having a moment. Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering is back in book club rotation. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness an epidemic, and The Atlantic recently coined the term “neighborism” — a commitment to protect the people around you. People are lonely, and they are craving community.
But while everyone debates how to ‘rebuild the village,’ I’ve realized something: villages aren’t theoretical. They’re scheduled.
As the eldest daughter of four siblings, and the oldest cousin of two broods of a dozen, I have what my mom likes to call “natural-born leadership”. Throughout my life this quality has made me the inevitable ring leader of activities and almost always, the designated planner. I never thought much of it — throwing big birthday parties, hosting family dinners for friends, organizing fundraisers and bike rides has all come pretty naturally, honestly.
I realize now this may be a gift, but it is also practiced initiative, a skill anyone can learn. People ask me how I built community when I moved to Philadelphia, and how I maintain strong long distance relationships in Detroit and elsewhere… and to be honest, I just fuckin’ do the things I want to see done.
Two weeks ago my friend Stephanie sent an instagram reel of a “Cinnamon Roll Crawl”, asking when we should recreate it. I proposed the following Sunday — less than a week later — dug into Reddit food threads for cinnamon roll recommendations, created a map, and started a group chat. Five days later I had gathered eight friends — a few meeting for the first time — and embarked on an afternoon of exploring my neighborhood on foot, seeking out sugary carbs from local businesses, and enjoying great conversations and laughs with my friends.
Stephanie joked this was the quickest proposed activity we’ve seen make it out of the group chat — and for that, I’m proud. It took minimal effort to curate an amazing afternoon, doing something a little different with a great group of people.
If you want to try something, host something, attend something — just do it. Pick the date. Send the text. Put it on the calendar before doubt has time to set in.
Life isn’t meant to be lived in the DMs. An object in motion stays in motion. Time marches on with or without you and the “village” isn’t missing. It’s just waiting for someone to send the calendar invite.
Why not you?